Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
