Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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