What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
