Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize