Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
