When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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