How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
What a dumb baby whore.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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