haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
