So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize