also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
