The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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