We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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