you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
