The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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