the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize