??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
