I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
