you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
