is wine microwaveable?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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