Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
