I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The best revenge is premature balding
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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