The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
