U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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