Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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