You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize