I accidentally had phone sex last night
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
