He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You're like the curious george of whores
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
