saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
