I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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