We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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