Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
