i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
