I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
