but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
