I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
