proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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