He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
