no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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