So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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