The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize