just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
