i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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