Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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