the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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