I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
