he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I smell stomach acid.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
