I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
