Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
