she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
