ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
