just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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