bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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