She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize