Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
