I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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