Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
