My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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