My pussy is not your playground.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He shit in the fireplace
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
