I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
