Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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