Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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