whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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