the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize