And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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