I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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