NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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