A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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