Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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