"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
