Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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