the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
