you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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