i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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